Prologue

Recently I was perusing the internet trying to diagnose a phobia that I have when I came across this website: http://phobialist.com/

It is a fascinating website that contains a list of almost every kind of phobia you can imagine. I say almost because one that comes to mind that didn't make the cut is fear of outhouses. That's because I am at a soccer game where the only facilities they have are outhouses and I think I have a fear of them. Here are just a few samples of phobias that did make the cut:

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture.
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.
Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.

It is not for me to judge people's disorders and decide which ones are worthy of their own actual names. I'm sure all these phobias are legitimate or they wouldn't be on the internet. Am I right? I can say that I would not be a good counselor if you came to me with one of these issues. The only counsel I could possibly think to give would be to be a man and suck it up. That does not speak well for me but it is true. In fact, maybe I just invented a new phobia. Fear of helping people with stupid phobias. Minoring in psychology seems to really be paying off now.

These next phobias that made the cut shouldn't be on the list at all because to me it's actually more of a disorder if a person doesn't have them:

Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets.
Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman.
Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowel movements.
Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
Hadephobia- Fear of hell.
Nucleomituphobia- Fear of nuclear weapons.
Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten. (Mostly the being eaten part on this one)

My absolute favorite phobia: Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

I did encounter one fear that I didn't realize I had until I saw it: Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public. Though this isn't the phobia to which I referred above, I probably have it because I hate when people read over my shoulder when I'm writing. In fact, since I started writing this I have observed that every time someone walks near me I quickly close the laptop as though I were a Russian spy or a hermit trying to conceal some deep dark secret. I thought I was being silly but now I feel validated. I know, I know. I should be a man and suck it up.

Sadly, after all those fears I read through (about 65 under the letter A alone) I could not find the phobia for which I sought. Maybe it's not really a thing. I'll let the reader decide. I have a fear of going back and reading my own journals. That includes blogs. All of my high school and junior high journals have been thrown in the garbage. I've neglected to post and also deleted some of my blog posts. If you go back and read some of them you might think to yourself, "I wonder why she didn't delete this one." That's probably my phobia talking though. One thing I have held onto, however, is my mission journal. Not because I wouldn't like to throw it out but because it seems like a sacrilegious thing to do. It has been tucked safely away in our crawl space for no one to read until I am dead. That is, I thought it was. Until John got up in church one day and told the whole congregation that he'd come across my mission journal and had been reading it. I guess he knows me well enough that he revealed the secret in the safest place possible. To his credit, he didn't make fun of anything that I wrote. In fact he was very praising and told me it was the best book he's ever read. (I know. He was REALLY trying to get out of trouble.) He even cajoled me into reading a page or two. Although I did it with one eye shut. So, in light of his positive reinforcement and the fact that we are about to embark on a 6 week journey, I have decided to start up my blog again. After all, the best way to get over a fear is to face it head on. That's one reason I started a blog in the first place. We'll see how long I last before anxiety gets the better of me.